Tag Archive: advice

Aug 22

Why Good Advice Might Be Bad Advice (and vice versa)

Go to Italy. by QuinnDombrowski, on Flickr

Original Photo © Quinn Dombrowski, QuinnDombrowski on Flickr.
CC BY-SA 2.0


[post status: a little rough, but there’s something useful buried in here!]

Here’s some advice you might hear if you’re dealing with anxiety:

“It doesn’t matter WHY you’re struggling, accept the feelings and focus instead on the present”

Sounds great. But, then, so does this: “we should confront and heal our past traumas so they stop bothering us in the present”!

And these good-sounding bits of advice seem to be contradictory..!

How are we supposed to know WHEN to confront past traumas, and when to let go and focus on the present?

(And I bet you’ve come across loads more of these seemingly-contradictory pairs of advice.)

Here’s an answer I often return to:

Read more…

Jun 06

Have Fun, For Fun’s Sake!

[This relatively sensible post was originally written for puttylike.com]

I often feel pressure, like questions are burnt into my brain by endless repetition:

Am I contributing to the world right now?

Am I making enough money?

Am I deepening myself, learning new skills and growing as a person?

You might think that achieving any of these goals would be sufficient, but sometimes even when I manage one of them feels like it’s not enough. While I’m learning something valuable, I still feel pressure that I’m not contributing, or earning, or… or… or…

Read more…

May 17

You Can’t Not Do Things, You Can Only Do Them

[Another quick post today.]

Sometimes it seems as if the solution to a problem is to NOT do something.

For example, if our problem is “I can’t stop thinking about this person” it might seem that we simply have to stop thinking about them.

Obvious, right?

No. Actually, that’s impossible.

Read more…

Feb 17

Jiggling an Imaginary Rope Helps You Re-Evaluate Your Life

[Warning: contains mild physics.]

Imagine a short piece of rope. We’ll call him Ropert.

Let’s imagine that Ropert represents our lives.

Read more…

Dec 05

Doing Things is Overrated… So Stop (A Bit)

resting by Michael Cory, on Flickr

Original Photo © Michael Cory, khouri on Flickr.
CC BY 2.0

You know that bit in the Simpsons intro where Maggie is steering on a pretend wheel to mimic the driving that Marge is doing?

Maggie (copyright Fox, or whoever owns the Simpsons these days)

Maggie Simpson (copyright Fox, or whoever owns the Simpsons these days)

Our brains would genuinely be happier if we could attach a fake steering wheel to “life” and pretend we were controlling everything that happens to us.

Read more…

May 18

Several Ways To Enter A Shower That Is Initially Too Hot

Day 73- That’s Hot. by Jinx!, on Flickr

The hot tap.
Source of much pleasure… and much pain.

Original Photo © Jinx!, Jinx! on Flickr.
Creative Commons Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 2.0 Generic License

I have a recurring problem.

Actually, I have many recurring problems. But today we’re going to discuss a particularly tricky one:

What is the best way to enter a shower when it’s initially too hot… but will be a perfect temperature after your body has adapted?

The answer may surprise you!

Read more…