Our brains would genuinely be happier if we could attach a fake steering wheel to “life” and pretend we were controlling everything that happens to us.
[May be relevant if you feel as if the same problems keep resurfacing in your life without ever being properly dealt with.]
Imagine that you’re untying a giant tangle made up of many, many pieces of coloured string.
(I have no idea why you might be doing this. Presumably you’re very bored.)
Now that I’m (mostly) successfully managing my anxiety, everything should be great forever… right?!
Obviously life isn’t magically perfect. (Though of course “less anxiety” is a huge improvement!)
This is fine. I never expected perfection.
But something else I didn’t expect was that managing anxiety better could itself cause problems.
Minds May Say…
When things go wrong, my life is not worth living…
If I don’t get a degree, my life is not worth living.
If I don’t have a partner, my life is not worth living.
If I fail at work, my life is not worth living.
If I spend an evening alone while others are out having fun, my life is not worth living.
Where the thing on fire is a cow dressed as clown.
(Of course, it’s possible that ridiculous events are attracted to me, and not the other way around. I’ve never been able to figure this out.)
Occasionally I attempt to resist and be sensible for a while, but no matter what I try, silliness seems to follow me.
A couple of months ago, during one of these “attempts to be sensible”, I booked onto a conference being held in Berlin at the end of May: Alive in Berlin.
I didn’t know much about it, but figured it would provide a nice celebration after releasing my first book and a chance to do a bit of travelling while I make my next plan.
But then, a couple of days after I booked on, this post popped up on my facebook: