[This post was originally written for puttylike.com]
I’ve been planning to write this post for approximately seven years.
Every possible paragraph has been carefully researched. Each of my thoughts has been studied intensely by a number of focus groups so that they are perfectly formed.
(In fact, the focus groups were themselves chosen by focus groups, although it took me several months of careful focus-grouping to realise that that was the correct strategy.)
As such, I am confident that this post is the very best it could possibly be, except-